Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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