This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
