Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
