Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
