well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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