I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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