we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
