Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
