Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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