So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
