love makes seman taste better
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
