Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize