my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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