Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize