I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
