I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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