He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
