he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
