This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
