I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
