I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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