I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize