My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
