too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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