it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
