Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
