Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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