hotel room ftw
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
