You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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