By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
