Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
