Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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