You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
