That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
