kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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