do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
