I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
