I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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