I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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