I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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