We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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