Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
