Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.