you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.