He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.