Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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  (212): Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward... http://tfl.nu/8dba
  Replies (1) Good night (1878) Bad night (1031)
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  (650): View more from California

  what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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  (650): what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job? http://tfl.nu/25b2
  Replies (19) Good night (2956) Bad night (737)
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  (530): View more from California

  My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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  (530): My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower. http://tfl.nu/udbm
  Replies (16) Good night (748) Bad night (5708)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.

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  (443): The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of. http://tfl.nu/c44a
  Replies (20) Good night (4488) Bad night (1113)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going

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  (303): Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going http://tfl.nu/w65t
  Replies (9) Good night (4206) Bad night (1953)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies

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  (214): he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies http://tfl.nu/w2ol
  Replies (4) Good night (3274) Bad night (864)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing

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  (703): Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing http://tfl.nu/df9u
  Replies (6) Good night (2194) Bad night (990)
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  (510): View more from California

  After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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  (510): After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip. http://tfl.nu/y98z
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (1863)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1674) Bad night (883)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster

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  (412): Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster http://tfl.nu/uote
  Replies (5) Good night (1922) Bad night (780)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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  (570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b
  Replies (12) Good night (2741) Bad night (751)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

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  (805): I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life http://tfl.nu/x15r
  Replies (22) Good night (1123) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.

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  (425): I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled. http://tfl.nu/8xcn
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (320)
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  (743): View more from

  Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.

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  (743): Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames. http://tfl.nu/fevf
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.

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  (415): The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese. http://tfl.nu/s07p
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (87)

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