At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?