Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

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  (705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk? (1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month. http://tfl.nu/0dv4
  Replies (14) Good night (3712) Bad night (796)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5618) Bad night (870)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high

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  (774): dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high http://tfl.nu/yu6x
  Replies (49) Good night (7477) Bad night (825)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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  (303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo
  Replies (15) Good night (5369) Bad night (1063)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off

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  (407): Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off http://tfl.nu/jc13
  Replies (13) Good night (868) Bad night (3773)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2561) Bad night (869)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?

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  (574): its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you? http://tfl.nu/7h5q
  Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (1827)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (10) Good night (3402) Bad night (491)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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  (575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry
  Replies (11) Good night (1339) Bad night (541)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

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  (304): The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass. http://tfl.nu/8h53
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (608)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits

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  (217): I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits http://tfl.nu/cv3j
  Replies (18) Good night (1584) Bad night (323)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet

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  (727): And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet http://tfl.nu/ztj3
  Replies (4) Good night (329) Bad night (599)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

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  (+31): Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming. http://tfl.nu/ki11
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (231)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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  (704): I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/6fin
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (515)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.

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  (928): i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice. http://tfl.nu/k07n
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (313)

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