Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Michael Bay diarrhea
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
