your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY