You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
