Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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