I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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