then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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