you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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