he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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