I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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