drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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