"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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