I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We need to get me chipped asap
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
