I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
