Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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