Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize