Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
