No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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