I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize