This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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