i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"