shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you would pick up someone in the library
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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