Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
