when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
