They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
